Growth Update! Monday, February 08, 2010 |
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It's been two months since the last update! Sorry for the hiatus, lovelies. We'll be updating more frequently now. Anyway, I am one month away from my first year ful...
I feel there is nothing wrong with change but especially if it spices up the relationship..BUT I also hope that your partner loves you for you and just suggests the change not make it mandatory. If they dont like you for u, u might to need rethink why this person is with u - do they look at you as an accessory or their foundation...Also if you just put on a wig or got weave that is very versitile but GETTING A PERM...hmmm very extreme and changes the whole texture of your hair. This is a great question and needs alot of thought. I would personally ask for a compromise and try the wig first if I even go that far lol!
After a few years of marriage i cut out my perm, the BC, wore a short natural for a decade. Last fall my husband asked if i would consider growing out my hair. at first i squared my shoulders, gave him the "sista-head" you know how we do..and was ready to say "love me as i am" or "what's your problem" LOL!!!.. but my spirit spoke and said.. "Sacrifice of Love" so i did it for him out of love, it cost me nothing (well you know thats not true) SO.. yes i did it for love, it makes him happy and that makes me happy.. he likes to run his hands thru my hair, he likes to rub in when i asleep.. so i give him that.. Yes YES..putting someone else's desires before your own no matter how trivial they seem is honoring the "sacrifice of love" he's a black man after all..and no matter how they position it..they love to play in a sisters hair, permed, kinky or curly.. short or long.. braids or knots..
It depends on what he's asking for. Some could be too extreme(wanting to be natural and being told to perm it when u could easily press it out) or some are just as simple like anonymous said above.
Earlier on in our relationship I cut my hair for him. He likes short hair and while my hair was long and thick then, I thought it was a nice "present."
Fast forward, we're here and I'm growing my hair out, even wearing weaves. He appreciated what I did for him and he loves what I'm doing for myself.
Heck, if I want to spice things up again I can always wear a short wig/ weave. We've been married for 8 years (together for 10), I would consider possibilities.
No. My hair, my head. My mother nor father nor significant other can tell me how to wear it. Luckily my parents don't care and my boyfriend isn't adamant.
I had a similar discussion with my honey recently. He's not feeling the natural too tough (mostly twist-outs) so I began wearing braids and flat twists and he loves it! We both miss the straight hair so I'll do a weave when the weather breaks. I think it's all about compromise.
No, I have been natural since 1999, and that's not changing. It's a conversation I have learned to have early on, because I don't want him to expect to get in and try to coax me into a relaxer...not happening!
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7 comments
August 24, 2009 at 1:54 PM
I feel there is nothing wrong with change but especially if it spices up the relationship..BUT I also hope that your partner loves you for you and just suggests the change not make it mandatory. If they dont like you for u, u might to need rethink why this person is with u - do they look at you as an accessory or their foundation...Also if you just put on a wig or got weave that is very versitile but GETTING A PERM...hmmm very extreme and changes the whole texture of your hair. This is a great question and needs alot of thought. I would personally ask for a compromise and try the wig first if I even go that far lol!
August 24, 2009 at 2:04 PM
After a few years of marriage i cut out my perm, the BC, wore a short natural for a decade. Last fall my husband asked if i would consider growing out my hair. at first i squared my shoulders, gave him the "sista-head" you know how we do..and was ready to say "love me as i am" or "what's your problem" LOL!!!.. but my spirit spoke and said.. "Sacrifice of Love" so i did it for him out of love, it cost me nothing (well you know thats not true) SO.. yes i did it for love, it makes him happy and that makes me happy.. he likes to run his hands thru my hair, he likes to rub in when i asleep.. so i give him that.. Yes YES..putting someone else's desires before your own no matter how trivial they seem is honoring the "sacrifice of love" he's a black man after all..and no matter how they position it..they love to play in a sisters hair, permed, kinky or curly.. short or long.. braids or knots..
August 24, 2009 at 5:59 PM
It depends on what he's asking for. Some could be too extreme(wanting to be natural and being told to perm it when u could easily press it out) or some are just as simple like anonymous said above.
Honestly you are not your hair!
August 24, 2009 at 9:34 PM
Earlier on in our relationship I cut my hair for him. He likes short hair and while my hair was long and thick then, I thought it was a nice "present."
Fast forward, we're here and I'm growing my hair out, even wearing weaves. He appreciated what I did for him and he loves what I'm doing for myself.
Heck, if I want to spice things up again I can always wear a short wig/ weave. We've been married for 8 years (together for 10), I would consider possibilities.
August 24, 2009 at 9:45 PM
No. My hair, my head. My mother nor father nor significant other can tell me how to wear it. Luckily my parents don't care and my boyfriend isn't adamant.
August 25, 2009 at 9:41 AM
I had a similar discussion with my honey recently. He's not feeling the natural too tough (mostly twist-outs) so I began wearing braids and flat twists and he loves it! We both miss the straight hair so I'll do a weave when the weather breaks. I think it's all about compromise.
August 25, 2009 at 2:50 PM
No, I have been natural since 1999, and that's not changing. It's a conversation I have learned to have early on, because I don't want him to expect to get in and try to coax me into a relaxer...not happening!
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