Black Men as an Excuse Not to Go Natural

written by Miss Fizzy

It is possible that this topic has been talked to death, but I will hold on tenaciously until women start to get the message.

There are several reasons why women refuse to go natural. A few of which make sense, and a lot of which don’t. I am not knocking anybody for not being natural, let me put that out upfront, however, I want to understand why.

One of the excuses I hear the most (after “it’s hard to manage natural hair” and “It won’t look good on me”) is this one: black men won’t find me attractive anymore. (Insert sound of me screeching to a halt). What? So what these women are telling me is that their self esteem is so tied up in what a group of individuals with extra equipment between their legs thinks of them that they will let these people’s opinions stop them from being themselves? Please pull the other one, because I think that is complete and utter bullshit. Nobody that is worth their salt will ever judge you based on your outward appearance. It shouldn’t matter if your hair is straight, curly, kinky or bald, if they scorn you because of your hair, then please sister, turn away from them. You don’t need them and they don’t deserve you.

Many black sisters will tell you that they tend to get more positive attention from other races when they rock their hair natural than from black men. This might be true, but they will also tell you that the black men that do approach them are of a different breed altogether. The black men that approach them are respectful, deep, have their act together and are more likely to call you ‘princess’ and ‘woman’, and not ‘bitch’ or ‘ho’. They will tell you that you look beautiful, and not ‘hot’ or ‘phat’. They will ask if they can take you out to dinner, and not to the club. They will want to get to know the real you inside and not just what’s under your clothes.

As a black woman, in a relationship with a black man, I can tell you that it is the person under the hair that counts. If a woman carries herself with dignity and confidence, if she wears her hair proudly, if she believes she is beautiful, then everybody will have no choice but to believe it too.

Your hair does not define you and neither do black men. Now what’s the next excuse?

Miss Fizzy is a graduate student studying something really dull and would rather spend her days playing in her afro. She runs the blog Chaotic Order and also co-runs Leave in the Kinks in between classes, setting up her business, playing with her hair and generally being fabulous.

You can find out more about Miss Fizzy’s natural hair journey at http://leaveinthekinks.blogspot.com and about Miss Fizzy at http://fizzychaoticorder.blogspot.com.

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